Expectations

Last week after I wrote about the epic fail morning, I got a call from my little sister. And even though she may be younger than me by a few years, she's always been the "common sense - give it to you straight" voice that I need to hear.  That day was no exception.

She started in by saying, "I just read your blog post.  You are a great writer, but I've got to tell you -- your day didn't really sound that bad.  What's your deal?"  (Typical sister real talk going on here...)

I explained that maybe I didn't go into ALL of the detail about how the convo with Abby's teacher went down and how bad I felt leaving the school feeling like her behavior was direct result of my actions.  I also didn't go into that much detail on the blog about how we were so close to being late to school and I lost my cool as the girls were getting out the door.  Either way, she reminded me of a piece of advice that I have been known to give to my other mommy friends when they are freaking out about life's messes.  Lower your expectations. Sometimes it's fair to ask if maybe your expectations are too high... Maybe a clean house, clean kids, home cooked dinner, great day at work, perfect bed routine, perfect morning routine kind of day is just a little bit unreasonable to attain. And on the off chance it does happen, then congratulations, the stars aligned for you that day!

My husband is an avid fisherman.  He loves it. He literally does not know when to quit and sometimes he chases the dream of the very rare day where fishing is at it's best and stories that he can tell his buddies about are created.  Most fishing trips aren't so lucky. But he still goes. He still enjoys the experience.  Optimistic, sure. He'll be out on the water ALL day casting away, thinking, "this is the one" and it doesn't happen. Eventually the sun sets and they pull the boat in and call it a day. Whether he caught 10 or caught none, he had fun.  If his expectation was to break records every trip, he would have quit fishing a long, long time ago.

As odd as this sounds, I need to take a lesson from Dan's fishing style. Every day may not be the perfect catch kind of day - but it still can be fun.  The girls are so cute and say the best things. They love each other and they love their family. They are developing their own voice and cherish their time together, given that time has really dwindled since Caroline started kinder.  They do get incredibly distracted at times and have MAJOR opinions on their choice of outfit - regardless of appropriateness, and frankly that's ok. My expectation of every morning operating like clockwork should at this point in our life,  just go out the window.  All I need to do is make sure I'm caffeinated and carry on... Is there room for improvement in our overall routine, yes - - but do I need to kill myself when things go crazy, NO.

And yes, you may wonder how our mornings have gone since last week and I'll just say - they've been a hot mess.  Waking up the girls at 6:30 AM is HARD!  If I let them sleep in, they seem to think they still have the same amount of time to get ready... Sense of urgency is apparently a hard thing to learn at the age of 5 - forget about 2.  The only thing at this point that is going to change is how I react to the crazy.  And honestly maybe her first tardy might be a good lesson for her to learn in the long run!

xoxo
jessica

Hello my name is Jessica and I have two kids.

This morning at the Luckett's was an epic fail.  Let's just start off by saying the kids woke up at 5 AM.  Yes, that's right - before the rooster crows or whatever the saying is...  By 5:30 Caroline was whining to get on the computer and Abigail had located the iPad meanwhile momma was not yet caffeinated.

Fast forward two hours and lunches were made, bags were packed, water bottles filled, take home folder signed, we were almost ready to go except for one teensy detail.  Abby.  She was still naked with the exception of her new gold sequined Cat & Jack shoes I picked up at Target yesterday (adorable!).  The good news was that she had been bathed- so just as soon as we got her panties, shirt/pants on - we were good to go.  No worries, right?  No, not right - not right at all... Abigail decided this morning was perfect for declining any of the "controlled choices" I presented in front of her.  She hated them all.  This is very typical behavior for my second child - but on this particular morning we were running out of time.  

So, what to do?  I did my best to put on her favorite ruffly pants and found a matching shirt.  She started crying, so I carried to her the car, buckled her in and explained we had to leave and she needed to wear a shirt.

We arrive at school, walk Caroline in, and then go back to the car.  I agree to take her back home to change into something she would rather wear and that's exactly what we did.  My goal in taking her back was to avoid the most recent melt down at drop off happening the last few mornings.  And my plan failed.  She was a hot mess going into school.  She didn't want to be there.  The teacher mentioned to me they had noticed this "change" in behavior too.  The once sweet, amenable Abby had turned into a threenager over night.  The teacher suggested that she is seeking attention.  And that's when it happened.  ALERT. ALERT. MOM GUILT AHEAD.  Suddenly I realized that all of the time we were investing in Caroline to get her acclimated to Kindergarten had backfired in the form of Abigail's behavior.  I felt terrible.   Tears rolling down my face, I put my sunglasses on and started out the door.  I'm thinking...Really? this is sooo hard.  I feel like Abigail is always getting attention. She's in my lap, in my arms, in MY BED... how can she need MORE attention? 

Having two kids can be so hard. At first it's all about their safety, then suddenly it because something so different.  You have two little humans that look to you for everything and at times they need different things from you - simultaneously.  And those are the times life can feel impossible.

My best friend called this morning.  I think she has a sixth sense about those days when I need to hear her voice.  She is also a mother of 2 and she told me something I needed to hear.  Grace.  You have to give yourself some grace.  Life is messy.  Some mornings totally suck. So you have to just pick up yourself off the floor, wipe the tears and move forward with the goal of being better the next time your kids wake up at 5 AM.

So this afternoon I'm going to look Abigail in the eyes, ask her more questions and spend more "big girl" time with her because it's clear that she's paying attention.  She's a smart cookie and I suppose it's time for me to step up my game with her too.

xoxo
jessica

A new chapter is here!

Hi!  We're back - well we actually never went anywhere -but I stopped blogging because, for lack of a better excuse, we got busy.

And, I have exciting news to share...  Not too long ago I noticed that the Dallas Moms Blog was seeking contributors to their new sister blog - Collin County Moms Blog.  And without really thinking, I applied!  And now it's official -  I'm a contributor for the Collin County Moms Blog. Yay!!  

So in an effort to keep me fresh and brush off the dust to that creative side of my brain, I need to write again and here is where I will do my best to talk about life at the Luckett house.  

Make sure to follow the Collin County Moms Blog coming October 17th and look for new, fresh content from legit Collin County contributors like me :) 

Hugs! 

Jessica